Awesome

It seems I only have a craving to blog when I'm really tired and should be going to bed. That's actually when I have the willingness to do almost anything. A lot of things about me haven't changed since I was six and begging my parents to stay up just a little later. Unfortunately, there's no one around to tell me to go to bed. The cat sleeps all day, so it doesn't care whether I hit the sack right after dinner or at 3 in the morning. So, here I am. Left to my thoughts and stubbornness to go to bed like a responsible human being, and also a box of Wheat Thins. Luckily, I don't work tomorrow, so I can sit here and write and eat crackers 'til the dawn breaks. But I will definitely regret it later.

The thing I've been pondering as of late has been the presence of beauty in my life. Real beauty. Not People Magazine beauty. Not beauty to the standard of perfection. Beauty.
I still haven't gotten over being able to see the Rocky Mountains every day I'm here. I can just look climb a hill and there they are. As much as I don't like going in for early morning shifts at work, the last few instances have been timed perfectly for seeing the sun rise. Just as I'm walking across the parking lot from the bus stop to the !ndigo (because apparently that's the correct spelling), the sun is bursting from behind the big box store barricade (can anyone identify that literary device?) and cascading over the pavement. And from certain angles I can see the mountains. Sometimes intertwined with clouds and mist and hard to identify, other times in sharp contrast with the pale blue sky, piercing the backdrop with their power and size.

It doesn't have to be in the morning for me to see the mountains. Sometimes I'm on the bus in the afternoon with a couple dozen other people, and a stunning view of the mountains appear on the horizon, and I just look around at my fellow public-transportation users and wonder whether they can see what I see, and if they're appreciating it at all.

I've become fond of one particular bus route, in part because it's a lot less crowded and sometimes gets me home faster, but mostly because of the view. I work at the complex called Signal Hill, and it was a thrilling moment for me when I discovered that there's actually a hill behind Signal Hill. It's called Signal Hill. And there's one bus stop that I can use to transfer from one bus to another that's right where there used to be some sort of signal... thing... I haven't really read up on it. The layover from one bus to the next is usually between 12 seconds and 3 minutes, and it's hard to tell which one it will be, so I haven't had time to read the info boards yet. Someday. Anyways, the view from that bus stop. Amazing. A couple of times I've gotten there just as the sun is setting. So the wind is blowing, there are flags cracking in the breeze behind me, the sun is shedding an array of colours in the sky as it descends behind the mountains... And then bus 53 rounds the corner and I have to frantically wave at the driver because they never expect anyone to be at that stop. But seriously, those two minutes of just pure beauty a day... I feel like those are nourishment to something inside me. For me, it gives me a healthy dose of awe for my Creator, for The Creator. But for anyone, I think experiencing beauty is an essential to life. And I've realized that going out of my way to find beauty and taste it daily is not that hard, and so, so good.

It keeps things in perspective, if nothing else.

Here I am, frail and small and confused. Here is something else, something enormous and beautiful and overwhelming.

Awesome.