Some-ary

This has been on the to-do list for as long as I can think back right now. Which is until just before lunch today, in case you were wondering. So it's been a long time coming.

It's been a crazy few months. It really has. I don't remember ever being this busy for such an extended period of time. Almost every part of the busyness was doing stuff that I enjoyed, so that's always a plus. I guess I'll give you a summary of what this blogless portion of my life has been like:

1. I started a new blog. For my media class. It's called www.africonvoluted.wordpress.com. You should check it out. In fact, my most recent post was one I wanted to post on here, but I had a certain number of posts I had to do on that one, so this one was neglected - http://africonvoluted.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/how-to-speak-south-african/. Consider it evidence of my expertise on South African culture.

2. I went to Canada over the holiday. I stayed with a family friend. I couldn't find a job, because I arrived just after the Christmas hiring season, so that was disappointing. But I got to see many a friend, and eat many a delicious meal, and see many a movie, and have many a merry day. My family was all together for about two weeks, which was very exciting.
It's one of the weirdest feelings to return to places you haven't been to in a while. That sounds like such an obvious statement, but I can't get over it. Going to my church, stepping into my highschool, walking by our old house, even stepping into a Chapters or a Shoppers Drug Mart - so weird. Everything is so familiar and thick with memories, but things aren't the same. They just aren't. Time is such a funny thing.
I realised over this trip how much I love Canada, and how it really will never be replaced in my mind. I don't know if I've been trying to do that, but I know now that I can't. Your homeland is your homeland, no matter what you do.

3. I moved into a new place. I'm living in a residence now, called Groote Schuur Flats (pronounced HH-roet-e Sk-ooo-r... Kind of. Ask me sometime and I'll say it for you.) I live in a flat with another girl. Apparently it's really rare for youngsters like me to get into this res, so I'm very grateful. Because it's amazing! I have a HUGE room, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. I'm extremely close to campus. I am a 20 second walk from at least 10 fast food places, two coffee shops, two grocery stores, two pharmacies, and a book store. And it's a lot safer for me to be outside at night, because it's on the Main Road and is a busy area. Wooo.

4. The first semester of my second year at the University of Cape Town has come and (almost) gone. I took four classes, even though I only need to take three. But hey, might as well do this university thing with conviction.
Writing and Editing in the Media, Religion and Society, Applied Ethics (a philosophy course) and Italian.
I enjoyed all of them. The religion one was a little dry, the media lectures were at 8am, and Italian was 7 times a week. But I enjoyed them all. I've finished all but the religion exam on Thursday. And don't worry, considering I did the other three subjects' exams all within two days, doing one exam seems like a piece of cake now :).

5. I've learned a lot about responsibility this semester. Namely that I'm not very responsible by nature. Growing up is tiring and stretching.

6. Friends are incredible. I have an awesome group of friends here, which sucks during exam period - every evening is an awkward, trying to be helpful to each other but really wanting to not study but knowing that breaks are important but thinking you're probably just using that as an excuse to procrastinate, moment. But I love it. It's not really an issue to complain about.

7. I'm the Secretary for the Student Y campus ministry I'm a part of. Being on the committee has been a challenge at times, but such a joy all the time. I've learned a lot about myself, about working on a team, and I've sort of solidified a lot of self-knowledge of which I'd been in denial (dislike of organising things, fear of criticism, etc.).
I also lead a Bible study with my friend Netéske in my flat every week, which is amazing. We have been going through the book of Mark and learning many things. The Bible is so much deeper than I ever could have imagined. Mind-blowing.

8. I've finished five jars of peanut butter so far, I believe.

9. I haven't been buying meat to cook at home at all this semester. I eat it at other people's houses, and sometimes at restaurants, but on average I'd say I eat meat about once every 2 days? Just trying to be a bit more sustainable. And learn how to cook more creatively.

10. I still have no idea what I want to do once my degree is finished. I'm halfway through now, and I'm feeling an urge to travel to some new exciting place. Don't ask me where that is though, or what I would do there. We'll let the pages turn when we finish reading them.


That's all that comes to mind right now. I'm disappointed the Sens didn't make it further in the playoffs. I'm going to Tanzania for this 5-week holiday between semesters, which is fortunate, since winter just hit here like an unwelcome in-law. I'm reading Dostoevsky for fun. I still like writing poetry more than doing most other things.

I'm 20 years old, and I'm grateful, content, and excited about life.

Poem #2, because this is the easiest way to share them

I love the wistfulness of night-time
The contrast of neon lights and charcoal street
The smells and sights at midnight from a seat on an almost empty bus
Of cigarettes and coffee and filth and tired feet

I love the feeling of getting to know a place you thought you knew,
But you didn't really know
You've been acquainted with the city of bright -
Of hundreds of horns hooting
Thousands of people commuting
Everyone trying to remain anonymous and unknown
Surrounded by so many people who are alone
And exactly the same

But a city at night has humanity, character
There's room for individuality
Where every person has a story, carries weight
Every soul has a reason for being out so late
The plastic coating of a daytime rush melts away
And you're exposed

When
Office towers are hollow
Corner stores are haunted
Traffic lights are obselete

And people are people
Unique and startling and noticeable
There they are
Here we are
We're the ones who live here,
You just can't tell because we're actually invisible in daylight in a crowd
But we're here
And we're dreaming
Dreaming makes us real
Night-time makes us dream

I love the wistfulness of night-time

What? I Write Poetry?

This is a poem I've performed a couple of times recently, to fairly good reviews :). This post is for everyone who has heard it and wants a copy, and for anyone else who can read.  So yes, this is for quite a broad audience.

Feel free to pass it around to whoever, I don't care if you give credit to me or not. I'm not important enough yet to ask for royalties on anything.





Do you realize

You're worth more than the moon,
 Than vast deserts of dunes, than the blossoms in June?
 Do you know you're more important than the skies,
 The wolf when it cries, the lark when it flies?
 You're more majestic than the ocean,
 More authentic than the motion of the wind,
 And you are a masterpiece

Do you realize you're worth more than the earth?
 Love has followed you since before your birth,
 When your Creator chose to give you worth
 And masterfully craft you - beautifully, wonderfully

Child, you don't carry yourself like a work of art
 Your heart falls apart at the start of each day
 When you glance in the mirror
 And, to your dismay, you're not perfect?

Cut yourself some slack
 I can see you don't lack
 Merciless eyes that criticize
 Each fault, flip, flab, fang, fart, and flaw
 That aren't supposed to feature
 On a Covergirl teenage creature
 And as you slump through the world
 Saying "Woe is me",
 You close your eyes to possibility
 Assuming, "No one could ever appreciate me",
 And we watch as you slowly disintegrate

I know I shouldn't offer help,
 But darling, you seem to be deflating yourself
 You're like a walking piñata with nothing inside
 And I don't think you realize

Then, one Friday night,
 You wandered the streets looking for something new
 And a certain fellow took a liking to you
 He had sly brown eyes and a daring smile,
 And you thought, hey, this should distract me for a while
 So you followed
And as you took that first step, you had trust in your eyes
 The look of someone deceived by showers of lies
 But his words - his charming, alarming, disarmingly bold words -
 Were like water to your love-parched soul
 And oh, he drenched you

So you came home late, all sopping wet,
 Way past your curfew and your mom's upset
 But you can't even heart her, you're in absolute bliss
 Your entire life has been leading to this!
 And she couldn't possibly understand

Flashback
 To a sophomore romance, with parachute pants and a high school dance
 Lights getting dim, room getting hazy, one girl getting crazy
 And one boy who can move like Patrick Swayze
 Oh, baby
 Trust me, your mom understands

Flash forward
 To an outburst of words and miscommunications
 A foundational crack in the already fragile relations
 Of daughter to mother, with violent retaliations
 And honestly, you had unfair expectations
 Of how long and how much and how strong the patience
 Of a mother is when watching her baby destroy herself
 Innocence receding inch by heart-wrenching inch

And that one interaction, that's just the start
 In the following months you perfected the art
 Of slowly crushing your mother's heart
 You lash out at her whenever there's pain
 And you try to relieve it by going insane each Saturday night
 And all these mind games
 Add up to your, on your knees, feeling nothing but shame
 And darling, you can blame your broken heart on a man,
 But it began with a love that you didn't understand

You'd heard stories of love, but you wanted to feel
 So you gave yourself to this guy, and all he did was steal
 Your virginity
 He didn't give you his heart, he just left you in his dust
 And you two weren't in love, you were only in lust
 And a word of advice:
 Don't ever give your heart to a guy who can't keep his pants on

Do you realize
 You're worth more than the stars?
 More than galaxies beyond what man will ever find?
 You have potential, you have life, you were made one-of-a-kind
And you are loved, more than you will ever be able to comprehend

You throw love around like dirty laundry
But you're blind to all that love could be
 Love makes you whole where you have holes
 Love lets you know that you are known
 Love holds your hand when you're in fear
 Love won't let you disappear
 Love makes you strong and powerful and beautiful and new
 Love makes you shine and overcome and be the perfect you
 You'll be satisfied in love that's untainted and true
 And He'll create in you the masterpiece He's always wanted to

If you will just realize